Monday, January 18, 2010

Uninhibited, Broken, and ready to DANCE!

When I was in Jr. High, going to the school dance was quite an experience. I remember getting ready--being nervous that no one would ask me to dance or that someone WOULD ask me. And I felt worried about getting out on the dance floor during the fast songs. But still I went. Not sure at the time what compelled me. Maybe the crush on had on a cute boy or just my desire not to miss out on something.

One night my friend Tracie brought me out on the dance floor during a fast song and explained to me that I just needed to be confident, move, and enjoy myself. I was nervous at first, but she convinced me to try it. And I was surprised that I was having fun. And I stopped worrying about how I looked or if people thought I was strange.

I enjoyed the dances in high school and the couple I went to in college. But then my natural venue for dancing was gone.

So, why now do I have this great desire to dance?

When I was in China, we had a dance one night. Out in the courtyard, in the heat, we taught our students the Macarena. How that night makes me smile. We danced to a lot of music I knew...including some classic Michael Jackson. And somewhere in the the middle of that, I found that love to dance again: to move, to feel the music, to forget myself.

I remember asking some of the members of my team why they weren't out dancing. "some of us are just not as uninhibited as others" Uninhibited! Wow, I never, ever thought that word would apply to me.

Fast forward to today. One of my favorite Christmas presents was Church Music by the David Crowder*Band. And I've been listening to it a lot. The song Church Music (dance!)

has shed some light on my feelings lately. It's my own brokenness that frees me of the pride that keeps me still. I want to be ready to let go of the "what will people think" mentality. I am broken inside, and I'm not going to pretend I have it all together on the outside. I'm just going to dance!

Monday, January 04, 2010


God has a new job for me. It's been echoing in my heart for months now.

Be present!

Be present in the moment you are in: don't keep checking your phone, don't compose your next status, don't look ahead to a new house or new job or new phase so much.

Be present in the lives of your family: Get off the computer often when they want to play. Focus on what they are saying. Give them eye contact, face time, and let them know that you are really there.

Be present with your friends: let them know you care about them with your words and your attention. Don't get distracted by the other things you need to do and forget to call them, spend time with them, and hear their hearts.

Be present with Me: immerse yourself in My Word, focus while you pray and while you sing worship songs, and don't spend so much time trying to "escape" the life and plans I have for you right now. Enjoy this moment I've given you; it's a present!