Catharsis

The therapeutic nature of blogging is one of the reasons I have kept up with it for the past two years. Just writing out my last post helped me to deal with my feelings. Why sharing that with the world via the internet is where I choose to do this, I'm not sure. I have been challenged by reading Sarah's blog (not the TV stuff) recently, so I guess being transparent helps me and hopefully encourages others that they aren't alone.

I got some good feedback both on blog and off. MLE reminded me of just a few of the changes the last year has brought...so that gives me some perspective. Last year was hard emotionally because of changes at church and also me re-entering the workforce (even on the limited basis I am). Change isn't always bad, but its definitely an adjustment. And like we always said at MS, one thing you can count on...by the time we get used to this org chart (read--stage or schedule) then it will be time to change again.

So, I'm still wrestling with what to do with my hair...if anything. And I made a decision about how to get my clothes and such in order. And I know that as much as I may enjoy the changes, that isn't the main issue.

Its funny how the timing of this coincided with a post on Beth Moore's blog which spoke to me too. Or maybe its not funny, but just very sweetly God's goodness. Put that together with Rob teaching the youth group on forgiveness and Z teaching Elevation on conflict, and the Beth Moore series Loving Well that we are doing in Bible study on Thurs nights...and I've got an idea of where God has me headed in the next few weeks. And it will be good and hard and good.

ID crisis

I guess I'm having an identity crisis of sorts. What's my face shape and which hair cut should I get? What's my body type, so I can dress in a more flattering way. Should I go back to wearing some make up? And why am I all of a sudden ready for a make-over?

One thing I seem to be lacking is confidence. And confidence would be really helpful to me in my job because people don’t listen to you if they doubt you know what you are talking about. Well, I feel good about my knowledge…I'm growing in it. I'm not perfect, but I really do know what I'm talking about or else I am clear that I don't have enough background in a particular topic. Is confidence something I can manufacture?

Now recently I've been reading about how great I will feel if I look good. So, how much of this buys into the popular culture? When I look nice, I do feel good. I don't think that's wrong, but is that really going to help my confidence level? God's view of me certainly hasn't changed because of my clothes or my hair. Why should that help me?

I have always been someone who cares more about character than style or outward appearance. I tend to notice a person’s face…I'll catch new glasses and sometimes haircuts before other folks. I don't tend to notice their clothes, body type, or shoes. Besides that being biblical, as far as I can remember, I am just more drawn to good character. Even the boys I had crushes on in Jr. High weren't just good looking. They were smart (even then I was searching for a geek!), leaders and often believers . I haven't changed how I look at others, so why I have I changed how I look at myself?

So, what gives? Am I old enough to have a mid-life crisis? Or have I just been so consumed with the care and feeding of my family for the last 4 years, that suddenly I realize I've neglected myself? Am I a hypocrite for changing from someone not focused on the outward to someone who really wants to change the outward? Will a makeover really solve this?

*sigh*

It's a big 3rd down

The KOA guys are great....but guys....

EVERY 3rd down is a big one!

Not sure why Champ's all fired up

"Maybe its the scoreboard" Roger

Eric---it is not my fault that the Broncos are playing this way. I'm wearing blue....

customer satisfaction

Well, payday was this week, so after a hiatus, I'm back to shopping. And I don't envy retail employees... I need to be more aware when I get really good service, and actually stop and fill out a comment card or say thanks even. I don't know why I expect more, but here are a few of my disappointments this weekend.

• The Best Frozen Yogurt shop sign said it had White Chocolate Mousse...then claimed to be out of it....and after I went back outside to find out what else Roger wanted, I came in and they found some.
• Also, I asked for kiddie size and ended up with small...which is more expensive.
• No carrying tote or lids for said yogurt
• Target doesn't stock Women's Broncos shirts!!!!
• TacoBell employee didn't type in my credit card amount right, so I have to go back to the store to get my two dollars.

OK... so these aren't horrible...and on the flip side

• The Yogurt shop employee did help me carry my purchases outside
• The lady at US Toys smiled and seemed happy

Its funny that I've become accustomed to the employee at Qdoba helping me to my table with my food...because when no one did I was kind of sad. Its nice to expect people to go above and beyond. Its even nicer when they meet or exceed those expectations.

Now that makes my day....

In our living room there is a picture of our second married kiss.

Roger gave me a nice kiss in the kitchen, and Katrina said "that looked like your kiss from your wedding".

11+ years...and I'm glad!

I just kissed Tom Selleck

So, our friend G-money saw this guy hanging out in our car and decided he was Tom Selleck. Well, now even the Preschool Director at church is wondering why Katrina and Hannah are always talking about Tom Selleck. He's not exactly the actor of the preschool set. Katrina was sitting in the car and that's when I heard... I just kissed Tom Selleck.

Sucking air

You may think I'm about to talk about how out of shape I am. No... I'm not in great shape, but I'm getting better.

I'm talking about Halo.

Halo 3 comes out this month....and so my sweet man is back to playing Halo - the original. He's going through it much faster than when it first came out. But now we have less time to play as it is not a game that is appropriate for kiddos. So, he has to use headphones and play late at night. What I never heard when he played before is now very clear with no sound to cover it. When he is surprised, he sucks air. When a Hunter jumps out behind him, I hear it. When an Elite with a sword comes out of nowhere, I hear it.

So, why is this significant? Well, my husband doesn't suck air in real life very much. We hit a snag in a plan, and he rolls with it. He isn't a complainer...even when he is sick. Occasionally our kids will fall or something that will bring a suck of air from him....but generally he is just not surprised by life. He is logical, even-keeled, and he handles things. He may not like it, but he just doesn't suck air over everything that comes our way.

I like that about him. And I don't mind hearing him suck a little air as he defends the Earth from the Covenant.

BTW I have read the first three books in the Halo series....Yes, I admit it....and I liked 1 and 3. If you like sci-fi or someone you love is a Halo addict, it might be worth a read of at least the first one to connect with the story.