Monday, September 10, 2012

Confidence

What a strange feeling? I’d almost forgotten what it’s like.

Confidence. Quiet strength.

In the past 9+ months, I’ve lived in brokenness and the fear and sadness that can go along with dwelling in it. I honestly don’t know when that confidence faded, but I do know I have been discontent with no visible way out of the emotion that dragged me down.

What changed in the last few weeks? It came on slowly with a few well-placed conversations, and suddenly, I got a foothold on who I am to the people around me, but even more who I am to God. 

I don’t know how long to expect this assurance to last. It’s tempting to believe that there is something rotten around the corner because this feeling can’t last. But then I’m reminded GOD IS GOOD. He’s not waiting to smack me in the head. He loves me even when the hard things come.

For now, I’m choosing to just quietly relish this feeling. I still know I’m broken. I’m definitely and completely a broken human being. But the love God gives and the reassurance of who He made me to be is sweet.