A real Christmas
Well, Christmas is almost over. We celebrate with my dad and step-mom tomorrow. Then Christmas 2009 will be one for the books. But what kind of book would it be in? It won't be in the book about picture-perfect Christmases or the one about tragic Christmases. It won't be in the one of dysfunctional family Christmases or the one about idyllic Christmases full of great conversations. It was Christmas, it was nice....
I got some good gifts. My favorite was a scarf that my mom bought me that wasn't on my list. I didn't really give people many ideas for gifts...and I got almost everything I asked for. And I even got some money that I can give to Advent Conspiracy (late). I think I only have one thing I need to return.
My cooking had its highs and lows this year. The two types of treats I made did not turn out like I wanted. And I feel like I really didn't contribute to our extended family stuff enough. They don't ask much...but I hope that isn't because they don't really expect much from me. My dinner for our special little family went really well...even the peppery gravy that Alex liked.
But as I sat with Roger on the couch last night and cried--Cried about my own insecurities and struggles--I looked at my tree. And my tree defined this Christmas:
it's real
It's not fake...it's not "perfect" like people who like fake trees tend to think they are.(don't get me started!) It's got a few holes, it's not completely even, it wasn't grown at a tree farm where it was carefully tended by people....it's just right out of the forest real.
I had a real Christmas.