10 years ago

I was starting my second day as a blue badge at Microsoft. I'd been there for 10 months as a temp, but now I was finally a part of this amazing company. Loyalty was growing in me...but I was still torn. I had told them, "if I get a teaching job, then I'll be leaving". My dream was to teach High School English...and I was even willing....although scared...to teach middle school English. But for now, I was excited to officially be MS. We were on the 2nd floor, and I remember walking back into the office and seeing something strange on Trish's monitor.

And there it was....live video of a typical suburban high school within 10 miles of the office...in the school district I grew up in...fear, tragedy, pain...

I could be there.

Roger and I worked with teens at church, and Roger was interviewing for a job at DCHS that afternoon; I knew very well that I could be there... But I was here in corporate America. Wondering if I should be glad or sad to not be in the midst of those kids. As we met up with our students soon afterwards, it felt great to be with them as the processed, and we cried out to God together. Many came to Christ after Columbine...God used even the horrific to draw people to Himself.

I didn't go to the memorial service...which I regret now. But I prayed often for those kids and those families. And today, I'm praying for my neighbor--he was there that day--that somehow God would penetrate his raging atheism and give him true peace.

Party time, excellent!

Its been a pretty full few months with birthday parties. We've had a miss a few because we have so many going on. Today we are braving the crazy April snow storm for yet another. After this though...it slows down for us until June/July for Mr. Alex.

I've become much more laid back on parties than before, but I did have a moment of stress today as I looked at all that needed to be done. I'm so blessed to have a family that chipped in to help when I get a little crazy. I guess I've realized that this is not life and death here...its a party. I've messed up each party...and I just need to realize, this side of heaven there is no perfect party.

Letting go of perfectionism is hard. Realizing I'm far from getting it right is more and more common, but maybe where I'm at in life is more aware of my failings...and more forgiving??? or maybe just more accepting of God's grace.

So, as we head into the last of Trina's 6 year parties...I know I'll enjoy it more than I did the first one!