Sunday, August 05, 2012

Who knew I’d love solitude?

School starts in 10 days. Roger has already been back for a while, but in 10 days, I go from a house full to a house empty. A year ago, if you had asked, I would have been timid about how I would like the quiet of my house to myself. But this year, no question, I’m excited.

Don’t read this wrong. I love having my family home. I enjoy all 4 of us being able to be together. In fact, it was really hard this year to be the one going in to work while Rog and the kids were going to be home.

But what I found in the solitude at home was a sweetness with the Lord that I hadn’t had in a long time.

So, why couldn’t I find that while everyone was home? It wasn’t like the preschool days when my kids needed my attention all of the time. But somewhere deep inside, I want to be alone with my Abba. And the emotion I share with Him in those times is something I hold inside when other people are around.

I wonder if it is meant to be that way. Are we supposed to be able to process the complexity and sweetness of Jesus in a crowd? Or is it just a different type of connection when we are with Him alone?


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