unreal

I have been thinking about the recent shootings that took place at churches in my state. And right now, it seems unreal. I know it is real and people are suffering from some very real loss.

One reason it is unreal to me is because I grew up at Faith Bible Chapel with YWAM very nearby. YWAM is its own organization--I have friends and a cousin who did DTS with them. But my youth pastor for the end of High School came to us via YWAM, so FBC and YWAM still seem tied together in my mind. And Arvada is such a nice little suburb. I know it's changed since I lived there, but these kind of senseless things can happen in the most safe seeming places. Right now I live (almost) in Littleton...where Columbine HS is...and its the same kind of place.

Maybe that unreal-ness is why I have no trouble thinking of going to FBC for their Walk through Bethlehem this week. But I tend to think it is just like I felt after 9/11. Not long after that nationwide tragedy and shaking of our national sense of safety, I got on a plane for Chicago. Many people were afraid to fly. I just wasn't. It comes from a very real sense that God knows the number of my days. If I'm meant to go to Him, it could really happen any place or any time. He knows....I don't. I trust Him.

When I think about my family's safety, I struggle more with trusting Him, but I don't know why I should. I need to keep processing through His love and realize that we each have a day that is our last day. And when we have a living relationship with the Prince of Peace, there can be peace at the end....expected or unexpected though the end may be....there can be peace. I guess its easier to trust for me because my end I know will be in Jesus' arms. For my kids, I think of missing them or being without them or without my sweet man, and that is the hard part. The hard part is grieving and missing someone who you won't meet again until the other side. I am so thankful to Christ for His assurance that those who have Him as their Lord and Savior do not need to be hopeless in their grief. I know I will spend eternity with my man and my sweet daughter. And I pray in great expectation that my little man will choose Jesus at a young age.

1 Thessalonians 4:13
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope

So, I will continue to go to a place where my church family meets together. And I will live in the hope and joy of Christmas. And I will refuse to give in to fear. My God is victorious over all!